Freedom comes to the offended when we
forgive the offender.
When
we are unwilling or unable to forgive someone; it places us in bondage! In this state we carry the pressure and
weight of un-forgiveness within us. The
crime of the offender continues to hurt us because we have not released it!
How
do we forgive someone?
1. Realize how much forgiveness we ourselves
need. By understanding the depth of our
own sinfulness and the cost of the sacrifice paid by Jesus Christ helps put it
into perspective. Comprehending the
depth to which we have been forgiven; gives us no reason to not forgive others.
2. Surrender the debt we feel owed to us; giving
it all to Christ. In this way we release
the offender by giving it to Christ.
Simply put we pour out our case with all the facts, feelings and
emotions directly in conversation with our Lord.
3. Release others from any responsibility to
meet our needs. This is about accepting
people the way they are. When others do
not treat us or respond to us the way we expect them to, we get hurt.
We can overcome this kind of interaction by never putting our
expectations upon others.
4. See others
that we have forgiven as instruments God uses to teach us. God uses people to stretch , grow and mature
us. Ask anyone who has raised
children! Even Joseph who was sold into
slavery by his brothers was able to say to them many years later: 20 But
as for you, you meant evil against me; but
God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive. Genesis
50:20 (NKJV)
5. Do what you can to restore the
relationship. This may
require us to contact them and offer an apology. There are times we’re not even sure what we
did; in which case just explain it as such offering to make amends.
What if it happens again?
We need to remind ourselves
that forgiveness is an act of the will and that it is for our benefit. All the feelings of the past hurts will
probably rise with you. Don’t give Satan
this ground in your life. Stand firm in
your commitment to forgive and forgive again if necessary. The person offending you may never change and
it’s God’s business to change them. Our
part is to be free from the bondage of not forgiving. As we focus on the One who has forgiven us,
it in turn will set us free.
Read: Matthew 18:23-35
